Make Me Laugh Out Loud!

If We All Danced Like This.....

2008-03-01T22:06:00.001-08:00

Menopause Jewelry

2008-02-13T12:41:00.001-08:00

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.

We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big frickin red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.

Dumb ass.

The Perfect Husband

2008-02-08T21:26:00.001-08:00

21 Great Ideas

2008-02-08T19:25:00.001-08:00

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.

FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in Love at First Sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN! When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.

New Monitor Cleaning Kit

2008-01-24T12:02:00.001-08:00

Click on this link to start the new monitor cleaning process.

Don't Go At Work....I warned you!

2007-08-11T15:35:00.001-07:00

Some can relate, Others won't remember

2007-08-07T06:14:00.001-07:00

Who is that in the kitchen?

2007-08-04T20:50:00.001-07:00

Smart Boyd

2007-08-02T20:33:00.001-07:00

Stress Management:

2007-07-25T17:30:00.001-07:00

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience,
raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter.
It depends on how long you try to hold it.
If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.
In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

He continued,
"And that's the way it is with stress management.
If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,
as the burden becomes increasingly heavy,
we won't be able to carry on.
As with the glass of water,
you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.
When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.
So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down.
Don't carry it home.
You can pick it up tomorrow."

So, my friend, put down anything that may be a burden to you right now.
Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.
Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

* Always read stuff that will make you look good
in case you die in the middle of it.

* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,
it was probably worth it.

* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply be kind to others.

* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time,
because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

* Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

* The second mouse gets the cheese.

* When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

* You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

* We could learn a lot from crayons... Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull.

Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Get Your Christmas List Ready

2007-07-25T17:21:00.001-07:00

Women, trust me....the men in your life will LOVE this!

Bugatti Veyron at top speed
Uploaded by Flabber

What Men Really Hope For

2007-07-20T18:31:00.001-07:00

Now, we tell on men!

The Trouble With Nature

2007-07-20T18:21:00.001-07:00

The Real Truth About Ice Skating

2007-07-20T18:12:00.001-07:00

Guys, ever wonder why women just LOVE ice skating? After we leave the room, this is what REALLY goes on!

Big Oil Will Kill This One

2007-07-19T10:02:00.001-07:00

NOT your Mamma's School Bus

2007-07-18T10:22:00.001-07:00

Blonde Joke

2007-07-16T16:59:00.001-07:00

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls." Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

Important Health News

2007-07-15T22:46:00.001-07:00

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is ths true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables . So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: You're not listening....Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around!!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle ?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! !

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"

Another Way With Style

2007-07-15T22:42:00.001-07:00

That's Brutal

2007-07-12T21:37:00.001-07:00

4 Banned Commercials...great

2007-07-10T13:15:00.003-07:00

You NEED To Know This!

2007-06-25T14:07:00.001-07:00

What a trip!

2007-06-23T23:19:00.001-07:00

What a Little B*** Princess

2007-06-23T21:34:00.001-07:00

Just AMAZING!

Britain's Got Talent 2007 Winner Performance

2007-06-20T11:37:00.001-07:00

What a Beautiful voice and spirit. Talent for sure.

A Woman's Poem

2007-06-19T22:05:00.001-07:00

He didn't like the casserole

And he didn't like my cake.

He said my biscuits were too hard...

Not like his mother used to make.

I didn't perk the coffee right

He didn't like the stew,

I didn't mend his socks

The way his mother used to do.

I pondered for an answer

I was looking for a clue.

Then I turned around and smacked the shit out of him...

Like his mother used to do

Bed Wetters

2007-06-18T20:57:00.001-07:00

Great Ending

2007-06-18T20:05:00.001-07:00

This is so SWEET!

2007-06-15T20:13:00.001-07:00

Sometimes you have to go for it.

Just Amazing!

2007-06-15T18:49:00.001-07:00

Police Prank

2007-06-14T20:10:00.001-07:00

Windows New Surface PC

2007-06-13T21:45:00.001-07:00

Never Knew Larry King was so sexy

2007-06-13T21:42:00.001-07:00

Video: Dancing Larry !!

MJ

2007-06-13T21:28:00.001-07:00

Video: The Many Faces Of Michael Jackson

Drew and Jeff

2007-06-13T21:20:00.001-07:00

Video: My Big Deck

Looking for a new job, are you now?

2007-06-13T21:14:00.001-07:00

Video: Hilarious newsreader slip-up

I gots to see me this moovee

2007-06-13T21:03:00.001-07:00

Video: Black Snake Moan Official Trailer

Cat Time

2007-06-13T20:53:00.001-07:00

Too Much Time On This Boys Hands

2007-06-13T20:45:00.001-07:00

Video: Sex Segure

Happy Easter

2007-06-13T20:40:00.001-07:00

Video: Easter Chick

What do women want?

2007-06-13T20:38:00.001-07:00

Video: Poor guy

Bobbie Stinky Tilton

2007-06-13T20:29:00.001-07:00

Video: farting Preacher

What an idiot

2007-06-13T20:27:00.001-07:00

Video: fun movie

For those who hate mac

2007-06-13T20:21:00.001-07:00

Video: Mac attack

Have things changed or what?

2007-06-13T20:15:00.001-07:00

Video: Zelda

Whats wrong with this?

2007-06-13T20:05:00.001-07:00

Video: How men screw up romance

Plane Fun

2007-06-13T20:04:00.001-07:00

Video: Plane Girl

What art does at night.

2007-06-13T19:23:00.001-07:00

Video: 赤裸之舞

Kick Butt Rabbit

2007-06-13T19:16:00.001-07:00

Video: rabbit

Watch Where you are going

2007-06-13T19:10:00.001-07:00

Video: Watch your step!!!

Could YOU Tell while blindfolded?

2007-06-12T23:10:00.001-07:00

Video: FUNNY VIDEO

Watch Where you are going!

2007-06-12T22:47:00.001-07:00

Video: Funny video :P

Robert DeNero ...a great ONE!

2007-06-12T22:36:00.001-07:00

Video: Robert DeNiro Anouncing a Suspected Terrorist

Try NOT to laugh

2007-06-12T22:27:00.001-07:00

This one starts off a little slow....but its the setup

Video: traslater

Don't ya just love animal videos?

2007-06-12T22:22:00.001-07:00

Video: animal jokes

Just love it when the Pro's Lose it.

2007-06-12T22:18:00.001-07:00

Video: Whats So Funny

YEAH....the Fruitcake Lady

2007-06-12T22:06:00.001-07:00

Video: fruitcake2

YIKES - Make that a LITE beer!

2007-06-12T22:01:00.001-07:00

Video: bud-mere-fille

Even Better On the 2nd Viewing

2007-06-12T21:49:00.001-07:00

Video: Idiot funny

Hate it when this happens!

2007-06-12T21:46:00.001-07:00

Video: funny

Somebody SCREAM!

2007-06-12T21:42:00.001-07:00

Video: Funny

Who needs to walk the line?

2007-06-12T21:23:00.001-07:00

Video: New Drunk' n 'Driving Test

Can You Dig It?

2007-06-12T10:21:00.001-07:00

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die,I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"

Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magic, because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood.

The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98.

His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow..

Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?"

The wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down......"

Rowan Atkinson - Sick Boy

2007-06-11T14:42:00.001-07:00

Macbook - Cooked

2007-06-08T20:52:00.001-07:00

Macbook after 600 degrees fire

We have seen toasted Macbooks before but we have never seen anything like this. After a devastating fire at their Boulder home, Gwen and Paul returned to find their formerly sleek and shining white Macbook scorched beyond recognition.However the cause of the fire was not their Macbook.
Via - Flickr

Xtreme Wheelchair Riding

2007-06-08T19:59:00.001-07:00

Tick Warning

2007-06-08T05:22:00.001-07:00

TICK WARNING!

I hate it when people forward bogus warnings, and I have even done it
myself a couple times unintentionally... But this one is real, and it's
important. So please send this warning to everyone on your e-mail list.

If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks
due to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance
around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT!! THIS IS A SCAM!! They only want
to see you naked.

I wish I'd gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid.

Amazing SawStop Cuts Anything But Your Fingers

2007-06-05T17:58:00.001-07:00

SawStop is a safety feature that immediately stops and retracts a spinning saw blade if it comes in contact with anything that even remotely resembles your finger. Check out the startling video above, where it practically self-destructs in order to save this innocent hot dog's life. If that were actually your finger, you would escape with just a scratch and maybe need a stitch or two rather than running around your woodshop looking for your finger.

Technorati tags: table saw safety

YOUR AGE BY EATING OUT

2007-06-05T16:40:00.001-07:00

Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway-but your waiter may know!

YOUR AGE BY DINER & RESTAURANT MATH

This is pretty neat.

DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!

It takes less than a minute.
Work this out as you read.
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!
This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to go out to eat.
(more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1757 ....
If you haven't, add 1756.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number

The first digit of this was your original number
(I.e., how many times you want to go out to restaurants in a week.)

The next two numbers are

YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)

THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2007) IT WILL EVER WORK

Okay, Nature call OR....well, you decide

2007-06-05T15:52:00.001-07:00

Google Street Maps: Guy doing something "different" on side of the road.

Click Here To See..???

Make sure to zoom in and move the map around to see well.

Technorati tags: Google Street Maps

Guts and Balls -The Medical Distinction

2007-06-05T13:57:00.001-07:00

We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you Really
know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you Informed, the definition for each is listed below.

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, Being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask, "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, Smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your Wife on the butt and having the balls to say, "You're next!"

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.

Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome since both ultimately result in death.

Okay, What Would You DO?

2007-06-05T10:26:00.001-07:00

This one will make you look before you "go" next time.

UNBELIEVABLE

del.icio.us tags: toilet humor, cartoon humor joke toilet

Technorati tags: toilet humor, cartoon humor joke toilet

22- Weird Things You Would Never Know!!

2007-06-04T16:15:00.001-07:00

* A shrimp's heart is in its head.

* The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

* Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants.

* Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

* If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16 1969, make it illegal for U. S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?

* In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

* A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

* 23% of all photocopier faults world-wide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts.

* Most lipstick contains fish scales.

* Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.

* If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

* If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out.

* In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand.

* It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

* A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

* More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

* Horses can't vomit.

* Butterflies taste with their feet.

* In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the world's nuclear weapons combined.

* On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.

* On average people fear spiders more than they do death.

* Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.

* Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

* Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

* Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

* It's possible to lead a cow upstairs... but not downstairs.

* Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

* It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.

* The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

* A snail can sleep for three years.

* No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH."

* Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

* The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

* All polar bears are left handed.

* In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.

* An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

*TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

* "Go," is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

* If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand 7 feet, 2 inches tall.

* A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

* The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

* Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

Almost everyone who reads this will try to lick their elbow. (Sorry I
didn't go there!)

del.icio.us tags: fact strange, fact weird, fact funny

Technorati tags: fact strange, fact weird, fact funny

Say WHAT?

2007-06-04T09:46:00.001-07:00

You probably cannot read these and not laugh out loud. These are REAL notes written by PARENTS in a (state removed to protect the guilty) school district. Spellings have been left intact.

1-- MY SON IS UNDER A DOCTOR'S CARE AND SHOULD NOT TAKE PE TODAY. PLEASE EXECUTE HIM.

2-- PLEASE EXKUCE LISA FOR BEING ABSENT SHE WAS SICK AND I HAD HER SHOT

3-- DEAR SCHOOL : PLEASE ECSC's JOHN BEING ABSENT ON JAN 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 AND ALSO 33.

4-- PLEASE EXCUSE GLORIA FROM JIM TODAY. SHE IS ADMINISTRATING.

5-- PLEASE EXCUSE ROLAND FROM P.E. FOR A FEW DAYS. YESTERDAY HE FELL OUT OF A TREE AND MISPLACED HIS HIP

6-- JOHN HAS BEEN ABSENT BECAUSE HE HAD TWO TEETH TAKEN OUT OF HIS FACE

7-- CARLOS WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE WAS PLAYING FOOTBALL. HE WAS HURT IN THE GROWING PART.

8-- MEGAN COULD NOT COME TO SCHOOL TODAY BECAUSE SHE HAS BEEN BOTHERED BY VERY CLOSE VEINS.

9-- CHRIS WILL NOT BE IN SCHOOL CUS HE HAS AN ACRE IN HIS SIDE.

10-- PLEASE EXCUSE RAY FRIDAY FROM SCHOOL HE HAS VERY LOOSE VOWELS.

11-- PLEASE EXCUSE PEDRO FROM BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD (DIAHRE, DYREA, DIREATHE), THE SH**S. NOTE: [WORDS IN ( )'s WERE CROSSED OUT. (Loveit!)

12-- PLEASE EXCUSE TOM MY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD DIARRHEA, AND HIS BOOTS LEAK.

13-- IRVING WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE MISSED HIS BUST.

14-- PLEASE EXCUSE JIMMY FOR BEING. IT WAS HIS FATHER'S FAULT.  {You know, this could be legit!}

15-- I KEPT BILLIE HOME BECAUSE SHE HAD TO GO CHRISTMAS SHOPPING BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT SIZE SHE WEAR.

16-- PLEASE EXCUSE JENNIFER FOR MISSING SCHOOL YESTERDAY WE FORGOT TO GET THE SUNDAY PAPER OFF THE PORCH, AND WHEN WE FOUND IT MONDAY. WE THOUGHT IT WAS SUNDAY.

17-- MY DAUGHTER WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE SHE WAS TIRED. SHE SPENT A WEEKEND WITH THE MARINES.

18-- PLEASE EXCUSE JASON FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HA D A COLD AND COULD NOT BREED WELL.

19-- PLEASE EXCUSE MARY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. SHE WAS IN BED WITH GRAMPS.

20-- GLORIA WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY AS SHE WAS HAVING A GANGOVER.

21-- PLEASE EXCUSE BRENDA. SHE HAS BEEN SICK AND UNDER THE DOCTOR.

22-- MARYANN WAS ABSENT DECEMBER 11-16, BECAUSE SHE HAD A FEVER, SORETHROAT, HEADACHE AND UPSET STOMACH. HER SISTER WAS ALSO SICK, FEVER AND SORE THROAT; HER BROTHER HAD A LOW GRADE FEVER AND ACHED ALL OVER. I  WASN'T THE BEST EITHER SORE THROAT AND FEVER. THERE MUST BE SOMETHING GOING AROUND, HER FATHER EVEN GOT HOT LAST NIGHT.

NOW WE KNOW WHY PARENTS ARE SCREAMING FOR BETTER EDUCATION FOR OUR KIDS.

Technorati tags: funnybone, humor, jokes, real life

Great Video!

2007-05-31T23:02:00.001-07:00

Technorati tags: women in art, must see video

Funny Commedian

2007-05-31T10:48:00.001-07:00

I'm Speechless

2007-05-31T08:52:00.001-07:00

16 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN:

2007-05-30T18:28:00.001-07:00

by Dave Barry ,

Nationally Syndicated Columnist

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a

laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human

race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word

would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you

almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and

compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely

Suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby

emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other

people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of

age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down

inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

13. A person who is nice to you but rude to a waiter is not a

nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone

Amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

16. Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's

up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into some thing

acceptable to have dinner with.

Kansas Day Trivia January 29, 1861-2007

2007-05-30T18:25:00.001-07:00

1. What is Kansas' most abundant mineral? Salt

2. What are "Kansas Castles"? Grain Elevators

3. What animal is said to have put Dodge City on the map? The
longhorn steer

4. What snake is responsible for the most poisonous snakebites in
Kansas? The copperhead

5. What outer space matter has been found in over 26 Kansas counties?
Meteorites

6. What is the state insect? The honey bee

7. What is the largest native canine animal found in Kansas? The
coyote

8. What body of water once extended into Kansas causing strange rock
formations? The Gulf of Mexico

9. What type of natural gas is the town of Dexter known for? Helium

10. What is the hottest recorded temperature recorded in Kansas? 121
degrees, July 18, 1939

11. What's the coldest recorded temperature in Kansas? -40 degrees F,
1905

12. In 1961 what launching sites were scattered in 39 different areas
across Kansas? Atlas and Titan missile launching sites

13. What was the first commercial fruit grown in Kansas? The apple

14. I wrote the play, Picnic. Who was I? William Inge

15. I won fame by writing about my family's life in a cabin on the
prairie in southeast Kansas. Who was I? Laura Ingalls Wilder

16. He served a press secretary under 2 U.S presidents, Ronald Reagan
and George Bush. Marlin Fitzwater

17. He is most known for his book, In Cold Blood. Truman Capote

18. My fame and fortune came from writing the short story, Guys and
Dolls. Alfred Damon Runyan

19. I am known for outdoor murals and for environmental art in farm
fields. Stan Herd

20. Photographer, author, poet, composer, and filmmaker, he captured
the face of the world for Life magazine. Gordon Parks, died recently
and is buried at Fort Scott

21. What is the geographical center of the United States (lower 48)?
Lebanon, Kansas

22. Judy Garland starred in two movies with "Kansas ties".....name
the "other" one which featured that great song, "The Atchison, Topeka &
the Santa Fe??" The Harvey Girls

23. This western Kansas community proudly boasts the world's largest
easel. Sitting atop the 80 foot, 40,000 pound steel easel is a giant
replica of Vincent Van Gough's Sunflower painting. Where is this?
Goodland

24. This colorful term came from the Red Light Bordello in Dodge
City. The front door of the building was made of red glass and produced a
red glow to the outside world when lit at night. The name carried over
to refer to the town's brothel district. "Red Light District"

25. What is the windiest city in the United States, with an average
wind speed of 14 miles per hour? Dodge City

26. The First United Methodist Church in Hutchinson was built in 1874
during the time of this plague. The work on the church continued and
as a result, thousands of these insects are mixed into the mortar of the
original building's foundation. Grasshoppers

27. Who was the first black woman to win an Academy Award for her
role in "Gone with the Wind"? Kansan Hattie McDaniel

28. This river may be the only river whose pronunciation changes as
it crosses state lines. In Kansas, it is called the Arkansas
(ahr-KAN-zuhs). On both sides of Kansas (Colorado and Oklahoma), it is called the
Arkansaw.

29. Kansas produced a record 492.2 million bushels of wheat in 1997.
This was enough to make how many loaves of bread? 35.9 billion 30. This
world famous fast-food chain of restaurants opened its first store in
Wichita in 1958 after 2 brothers borrowed $600 from their mother. Pizza
Hut

31. This 94 year old man became the oldest-ever professional baseball
player in July when he signed a one-day contract and played with the
Kansas City T-Bones. John Jordan "Buck" O'Neil He died in October.

32. Topeka is the self-proclaimed birthplace of this goofy logo
character of Mad Magazine. Before making the magazine's cover, the drawing
of the smiling gap-toothed boy served as a local dentist's logo to
advertise his pain-free services. Alfred E. Neuman

33. After restoring more than 50 antique pump organs, Dick Rhea
orchestrated them into a pump organ museum in this western Kansas town. The
organs date from the late 1800s to early 1900s. Name this Kansas
community. Sharon Springs (pop. 835).

34. In 1985, this person became the first woman basketball player to
sign with the Harlem Globetrotters. Lynette Woodard of Wichita

35. In 1965, this Wichita East High School track star ran a 3:55
mile, a high school record until 2001. Jim Ryun

36. These little critters are protected in Marysville (pop. 3,271),
where they are the town mascot. It's believed that the little buggers
escaped from a traveling carnival in the 1920s and proliferated. Black
squirrels

37. This actress, best known as Ethel Mertz in the television sitcom
I Love Lucy, was born in 1909 in Cherryvale (pop. 2,386) and grew up in
Independence (9,846). She won an Emmy in 1954 for her role as Lucy's
landlady in the popular show that aired from 1951 to 1957. Vivian Vance,

38. This municipal airport is known as "America's fuel stop" because
more than 7,000 jets stop there annually on their way across the
continent. Two "fixed-base operators," or FBO's, sell 4.4 million gallons of
fuel each year to civilian and military aircraft. Salina (pop. 45,679)

THE EYE TEST

2007-05-29T22:45:00.001-07:00

Can u find the B(there are 2B's)?
DON"T skip or your wish wont come
true...

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Once youve found the b

Find the 1

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII1IIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Once you found the 1..............

Find the 6

9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999699999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999

once youve found the 6...

Find the N (it's hard!!)

MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMNMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM

once you've found the N...

Find the Q...
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOQOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

make 2 wishes!

Technorati tags: optical challenge, eye test

Woodie Attitude

2007-05-29T18:12:00.001-07:00

Views on Marriage

2007-05-29T18:09:00.001-07:00

Technorati tags: views on marriage

Web 2.0

2007-05-29T15:08:00.001-07:00

Great Video from Kansas State University

YouTube - Web 2.0 ... The Machine is Us/ing Us

Technorati tags: web 2.0, Kansas State University, information technology white papers

Piano Juggler

2007-05-29T08:09:00.001-07:00

If you have not seen this guy, you are in for a treat!

Soon to be a household name

2007-05-27T07:29:00.001-07:00

YouTube - Tony Royster 12 year old monster drummer

I did the last 4 on this one....NOT

2007-05-24T12:55:00.001-07:00

Totally Amazing Child

2007-05-24T12:39:00.001-07:00

Ah, the DAZE of college

2007-05-22T16:14:00.001-07:00

Click Here to see this video story

True stories are better than fiction!

Amazing and beautiful voice

2007-05-22T01:52:00.001-07:00

Very Sexy Video

2007-05-22T01:30:00.001-07:00

Now This IS AMAZING

2007-05-22T00:04:00.001-07:00

Hollywood will NEVER top real life. A little tough to watch at 1st...but stay till the end.

Too Funny

2007-05-21T23:26:00.001-07:00

NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN

ALL ARE WELCOME

OPEN TO MEN ONLY

_____________________________________________________________________________

Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants

The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course including:

_____________________________________________________________________________

DAY ONE

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS

Step by step guide with slide presentation

TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?

Round table discussion

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR

Practising with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FL Y TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?

Debate among a panel of experts.

LOSS OF VIRILITY

Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS

Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while shouting "It's not there!”, You’ve moved it!" or 'We've run out!" - Open forum

_____________________________________________________________________________

DAY TWO

EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?

Group discussion and role-play

HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH

PowerPoint presentation

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST

Real life testimonial from the one man who did

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?

Driving simulation

LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER Online class and role playing

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION

Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE

Bring your calendar or PDA to class

GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME

Individual counsellors available

_____________________________________________________________________________

Only great minds can read this

2007-05-16T16:08:00.001-07:00

This is weird, but interesting!
fi yuo cna

raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!